The Resolutions We Should Be Making
To resolve or not to resolve? This seems to be the most popular question. It feels like we have to fall on a hard side: either you love resolutions, live by and defend them, as an opportunity to start fresh, clean, and to distance yourself from the mistakes & downfalls of 2018. Or, you trash-talk resolutions & those people that buy into them: you're perfect as you are and making hard rules to live by is only setting yourself up for failure, anyway. Why bother? You resolve to keep doing the exact same stuff that got you through last year - perfect mistakes and all.
Why does it have to be so black and white? Here's why: it's awfully complex to have to accept that we are both perfect creatures, in this moment here and now, AND on a journey of growth and self-improvement. It's hard to love ourselves as we are, and to acknowledge where we can do better. As kids we're taught that it's one way or the other: there's the good guys, and the bad guys. We're either right, or we're wrong. But the truth is we're both our own good guy & our own bad guy: our own hero and - oftentimes - our own downfall.
So as we start 2019, may we suggest you make just one resolution: do better. Not more - better. Not perfect ... better. You don't need the perfect diet, just one that makes you feel better. You don't have to be the perfect partner, but maybe notice some of the ways you can show up for your significant other, or your friends, or your family, better (let's say it again: not more.) And MOST importantly: how can you show up for yourself better? How can you be better at slowing down time in the day? In squeezing out moments of stillness? In treating your body the way you'd treat a gift as precious as it is (this one human body that we get)? In finding more intention with your time, your creativity, your business?
I realized a long time ago that goal-setting didn't do much but make me feel like shit. Hard lines (that were way high expectations, because, hey, first-child-syndrome and being my own worst critic) never seemed to be met and always had me at the end of the day self-soothing (or self-medicating) because I could just not seem to get it "right" (Read: I was the worst.). When I got tired of that I decided blurred/gray lines were the only way for me to get anywhere. That's why I love Buti - it's for quitters. Just kidding! What I mean is, there's no end goal. If I had to pick one, I'd say it's to be the person having the most fun in the room (now there is a competition I could get behind). Strength, stamina, cardio, a rocking bod are all just by-products.
So whether you've hopped on the resolution train or not, notice where you can stand to make your hard rules more mushy. Think: a loopdy-loop trail that still has an upward trend. Grow as a friend, as a partner, as a professional - and don't forget to mess up, too.